No doubt that these are serious and deadly times. We have never lived through anything remotely like this before. The only thing that comes to mind was the 1918 influenza pandemic and some of our grandparents were just barely toddlers. No doubt that we are all going through this most challenging time together as a nation, but we encourage you to try and look on the brighter side that we will all get through this together. I trust that you are being safe, taking every possible precaution to protect you and your family first and foremost. We cannot afford to lose any of you. Not now, not in this time, and certainly not to COVID-19 because we all have a lot of work left to do.

Even though we are believers, it does not mean that we get to play the ignorant card. Some of you might be too young to remember this tale our parents told us when we were kids.  It goes something like this. “A lady in the Village just got saved and the preacher was preaching and saying that God will help you in everything that you do from now on. He is our helper and our strength. Just ask and it will be given unto you. Call upon me and I’ll hear you. The next day she had this brilliant idea! She took all of her clothes to the river and sat down and ask God to help her wash all of her clothes. She sat there and waited for hrs all the way into the night. Well God did not show up to wash her clothes.. no doubt she was mad!! Don’t be her, lets all understand the times that we are in. “And with all thy getting, get understanding” prov. 4:7, stay home, stay safe, be smart about it.

There is an upside to all of this, a beautiful one at that. You are HOME. Locked in, doors shut, cannot go outside, cannot go to work, the good Lord in his wisdom has taken away the “by see you later” excuse, there is no more going out in the morning and coming back in the evening. This is beautiful! This is a chance for you to forcibly stay in one house, one building, one area and so now you can talk!

Here is an opportunity to talk about the things that you’ve been avoiding to talk about for months and for some of you, for years! Marriage isn’t for whimps and whiners. It’s not for kids either, and it’s sure ain’t for immature adults who cannot have a proper conversation and not get all worked up about it for a quick minute. Here is an opportunity to talk, knowing that the other spouse cannot leave and go anywhere, but sit and listen and try to work out some of those issues that you have been trying to deal with for a while. Here are 5 tools to help you get the conversation going.

1. Find something to do for the other person that you would not normally do but you know they would appreciate. [ do not ask for permission here… just do it. Assuming that your gesture was appreciated, let them know how much you appreciate him/her and then politely eased into a conversation] there are a lot of approaches but this one seems to be favored by most.
2. Clean the house together. This one works especially well for women. Something about a woman looking at her husband cleaning and cooking makes her hormones go wacky. Their hormones go even more wackier when they know that this is something that you don’t normally do. Use this time to work and talk. [ladies if you read this #2 just don’t let your husband know you read it ok, work with me here, I’m on your side]- work with me.
3. Plan the day. If you are a planner, use that skill home to schedule the day from breakfast all the way up to a dinner and movie. Give him or her the schedule for that day and put down a time there to talk. It could go like 8 breakfast, 9 gym, 10 clean, 2pm talk about – the issue(s)
4. Are you one of those married couple that is a hot mess! Always arguing like you at an auction or auditioning for a loud drama show? Screaming and cursing in front of the kids at home? Then take a day during this lock down and promise each other that the next loud bonanza episode, we would not argue as usual. Make a silly effort to go in the bedroom, lock the door and lower your voice and see how long you will last. Charge the person say $100.00 for the first person who raise his/her voice. It would feel silly but do it! The richer you are the more you charge. The fee has to hurt enough. You can use the money to go out to dinner at the end of week but make sure you take the money. Most of the couples who do this therapy come back and say that it felt silly the first time but they were able to hear each other’s position and have a better conversation. Try it.

Here is an opportunity to talk about the things that you’ve been avoiding to talk about for months and for some of you, for years! Marriage isn’t for whimps and whiners.

• Just stop! Sometimes just chill. Take a breath, if you are always the nagging spouse, try another approach, don’t nag, don’t ask, just try to enjoy the other person around you and let life stop for a while. We will be fine; everything will be fine. It’s more important to spend some quality time with your significant other and appreciate them for who they are and the good things that they have done, just being there for you when you needed them most.
•  
• Shower them with praise, in spite of their short comings, in spite of how you might feel right now. Get past it and show appreciation. People are dying now by the thousands, use this time to just let them know that you love them. Tell them, that in spite of all of their limitation, I love you. In spite of our unresolved issues right now, I love you. I love who you are, for what you did for me, and is doing for me now. I just love you. Love… covers… a… multitude…of sin. When was the last time you look your husband or wife in the eye and simply say I love you? Do it during this lock down.

Let’s talk about it together. We would love to hear from you. It is our prayer that God would bless your marriage, your family and he will secure your jobs. I know the uncertainty that is out there now about work and the anxiety that comes with it, but like Zion, we are been called to higher place of praise, to look up for hope when others are looking down at despair. Have faith, have hope, believe that this too shall pass and together we shall all come out of the wilderness and walk in that promise land.

We look forward to the day when we shall be able to hug and greet you in Jesus name. Amen